Jan Proett, M.A., LPC
1864 Woodmoor Drive, Suite 211
Monument, CO 80132
There is nothing quite as daunting as searching for a counselor, so kudos to you for doing your research. May I say it this way: I am sorry. I know it can be overwhelming to wade through so many resources, to not even know what might be a good fit.
I have been counseling for twenty six years, specializing in marriage counseling, women's issues, trauma- informed care for sexual abuse issues and loss of heart. I would be honored to provide a safe place for you to explore your life, your struggles, your relationships and to find a way to name that which has not yet been named as important.
What is your story, and how do you tell it?
What are the themes in your life that are asking for your attention? Our hearts – the truest thing about us and our deepest identity - go missing in the midst of major life events which crush or disillusion us, and also in the slow, chronic erosion of hope that occurs over long seasons of disappointment or unfulfillment.
We were created for joy and deep, bonded relationship. Our desire to know those things runs deep. When those desires are betrayed, harmed or disappointed, we find all kinds of ways to cope. Our work together will be to trace the themes of those coping strategies, to see where your choices are smart and resourceful, and to see where they are unhelpful.
You know you need more than sitting with a friend over coffee. You know you don’t want to be treated like a problem to be solved and yet you know you want to grow. You don’t want to be judged too quickly, and you want to be heard. You want to be challenged because you intrinsically know there are things in you that need to change. That is a really good time to seek counseling care. I think of myself as a guide more than anything else. You choose the direction for each session, and I’ll gently guide you as you press in to explore your story and life with me. Insight and understanding can only get you so far. It is hard work, but as you explore your life, we can retrieve, reclaim and find the lost pieces of your heart.
There are not many realms of enjoyment - - and war - -like marriage. Trying to take two lives and blend them into one life takes a lifetime for a reason. Learning to listen to each other’s lives, hopes, desires and learning to fight for your spouse’s heart requires intentionality, work, and an earnest commitment to love. We can’t love if we don’t have a whole heart. And being a good student of our spouse is critical in helping as we grant them freedom and encouragement to become wholehearted themselves. This is why earnest individual work within the work of marriage counseling is critical.
Maybe your relationship has become a civil war. Maybe it has reached a stalemate or a slightly uncomfortable demilitarized zone. Your marriage and the life of your home can be so much more than destructive or detached, even with some slight shifts in how you attend to your own life.
You were designed to be more glorious than you ever imagined. It is possible for you to see and hope for the best in each other, draw out the best in each other, fight for each other instead of against each other.
You and your partner brought the pages of your story into the book of your marriage – you bring all of what your hearts and bodies have known. We can gently unearth and confront the shame you carry, and the contempt you have held for yourself or others due to sexual harm or addiction.
Heart, Mind, Soul and Body.
I am a narrative therapist whose work is informed deeply by attachment theory and trauma research. Our work together is toward the restoration of your heart, and sometimes finding where your heart has ‘gone missing’ is a multi-faceted process. Sometimes we need to change the focus of our thinking. Sometimes we need to reconcile with our own bodies. And sometimes our bodies tell our story when we can’t find the words. Our process will help you to honor your body, to listen to it and to give it the care it needs.
The past decade has been an encouraging one in the world of counseling with boatloads of rich and hopeful research in the realm of trauma; the way our beautiful brains and neurophysiology can heal. These truths have been incorporated into the care provided in my office. We are not meant to live feeling ‘stuck’ in negative thought patterns or repetitive conflicts. Through the course of our work, we will address core change at the brain and body circuitry level that naturally creates a greater sense of wellness. It is so much easier to live well and love well when we feel well! I am trained in EMDR and though it is not the sole focus of my practice, we can discern together whether it can be helpful along the way.
Women and Men
Though my practice is predominantly individual work with women, many men tell me they have felt deep advocacy and respect as we have worked together. Learning to wrestle honestly with the futility and frustrations of life takes practice, and many men have learned to simply shut down what they are honestly experiencing in life or how they are reacting to it. You have more strength than you know, and your heart matters.